Easttle writing

Hello everyone welcome back to my blog post.

We did our Easttle writing for term four. We are trying are best to use all of the things we have learnt such as, language features, show not tell, use fluency, get rid of small words and dialogue. I had a lot of fun with this writing. Miss D showed us a image of a water park I did not have a lot of ideas then I started writing and made a total of five paraphs in forty mins 

Here is My writing 

I finally made it to the water playground with Zach Jack and Mat. Mat said  “Yo Luke I dare you to jump off that massive diving board” I said “I don't know man”.  “Are you a chicken” Mat said jack and zach started going “bock bock”. I said “fine I will do it then. 

We all went to the massive diving board there was a huge line I told my Friends to “Go and have fun in the other pools well i’m waiting in line. Mat said ” Oi Luke I will stay in line with you just incase you run away. I said “Ok you need to jump of to or are you chicken”? “Na I will do it” Said Mat. When we reached the top. I was extremely nervous I took a deep breath in. As I was taking my deep breath Mat pushed me of. 

The sun shone in my eyes blinding me when I could see. Then I did a belly flop *splat* . When Zach and Jack saw it then they started sprinting over to see if I was ok. “Are you all goods” said Zach. “Ye im goods” we got out of the pool just as Mat jumped. 

Me Zach and Jack Went over to the pools that we could race in as we were about to start we heard someone crying for help “Help help”. “Did you guys here that”? Said Jack “Ye we did”. We looked around  I saw Mat drowning I yelled out for a lifeguard but they did not hear “Lifeguard he is drowning!” Jack and Zach Heard me yelling. They started  sprinting over to me I pointed to Mat drowning Then I made my way back to the pool that  Mat was drowning. 

I started swimming to go and save Mat’s life. I swam over to him and put him on my back when I was swimming Mat started to get heavier and heavier by the second. When I made it back on the Thank you for reading my blog. If you have the time can you pleas tell me what I did good and what I need to improve on. Kind regards Luke